


How Much You Love Him

by wildeleigh



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: 1910s, Declarations Of Love, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, England (Country), Falling In Love, Ficlet, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hospitals, Love Confessions, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, POV Third Person Omniscient, Period Typical Attitudes, World War I
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:59:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27855518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildeleigh/pseuds/wildeleigh
Summary: Having two close confidantes made the loneliness bearable for Edward. They were his guides, his nurses, his friends, his eyes. He told them all that was on his mind, simply speaking the thoughts out loud providing immense comfort. It did not even matter what they all talked about, but just that they talked. Even when Sybil and Thomas’ duties were rendered elsewhere, Edward took great comfort and relief in knowing they were near. Their presence lifted his spirit and lightened his heavy soul.Edward Courtenay has been injured in the war and is now blind as a result. He is recovering in the hospital on the Downton Abbey estate, being cared for by Lady Sybil Crawley and Sergeant Thomas Barrow. It is his close friendship with them that brings him happiness and light in this dark time, yet his feelings for one have deepened.
Relationships: Edward Courtenay & Sybil Crawley, Edward Courtenay/Sybil Crawley, Thomas Barrow & Edward Courtenay, Thomas Barrow & Sybil Crawley, Thomas Barrow/Edward Courtenay
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	How Much You Love Him

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I hope you enjoy this short piece I wrote for one of my favorite shows of all time. The friendship and love between these three always struck me as being so lovely and heartwarming in the show.

She brought such a light to all of their lives. So much light.

“May I know what’s so funny?” a voice asked in a mock authoritative tone. Edward, however, could clearly hear the smirk behind the words.

“Oh, nothing that concerns you, Sergeant Barrow,” Edward responded. His body shifted as he felt Thomas’ weight land on his bedside. Edward was now flanked by both Thomas and Sybil, his two cornerstones, his two lifelines.

It did not matter if they were sitting too close as was considered proper for patient-nurse relationship They who take objection to anything that keeps wounded soldiers’ spirits up have no place in a war hospital.

Having two close confidantes made the loneliness bearable for Edward. They were his guides, his nurses, his friends, his eyes. He told them all that was on his mind, simply speaking the thoughts out loud providing immense comfort. It did not even matter what they all talked about, but just that they talked. Even when Sybil and Thomas’ duties were rendered elsewhere, Edward took great comfort and relief in knowing they were near. Their presence lifted his spirit and lightened his heavy soul. 

When it was time for the patients and staff to turn in, Edward and Thomas said their goodnight, firmly squeezing each others’ hands. It was a small gesture, so small that no one but Sybil ever saw. They had started the habit as a way for Edward to be reassured. Reassured that yes, Thomas was and would always be there with him when he was needed. The gesture had become nonchalant, but both men would be lying if they said they were not immediately filled with warmth at each others’ touch.

At last, it was just Sybil and Edward. After she had tucked in the bedsheets with her ever so gentle touch and turned to leave, Edward whispered for her to wait.

“Nurse Crawley?”

“Now Edward, it is my turn to chastise you for using the wrong name. Please call me Sybil. We are that close, didn’t you know?”

“Of course,” Edward chuckled, a genuine smile spread across his face. Shortly after, however, his expression fell and turned grave. “I was wondering if I could ask your advice on something.”

Sybil hoped it would not be about his eyes. Edward had a penchant for already attempting to meticulously plan out his life without sight. Where will I go? What will I do? How will I get there? How will I make tea? The tea was of utmost importance to him, as it would be to any Englishman. 

Yet she answered without hesitation, “ask away, you know you always can.”  
“What if,” he began, the words coming to him slowly, one at a time, “in the future of course, not right now, what if there’s someone I develop feelings for? How can I know whether or not they reciprocate my feelings if I can’t look them in the eyes, read their expression?”

Sybil waited, carefully planning her response, worried that what she said next might upset him. “I am not sure, Edward. But I know that there are other ways to tell. How their voice lights up when speaking to you, if their touch lingers. Those sort of things.” 

Edward nodded, swallowed, and cleared his throat. “Yes, but what if you and this person could never be.”

“Because of your eyes? Edward, believe me when I say that you are—”

“No,” he choked out, becoming frustrated. “Not that. It would not be appropriate. No one would agree.” Tears were forming in his eyes, and with his next words he sounded defeated, broken. “We would be alienating ourselves.” The fervor with which Edward spoke alerted Sybil to the fact that he was not speaking hypothetically. He was speaking of feelings he had right in that current moment, for someone he knew. Someone close to him.

“Edward,” Sybil started softly after a large breath, “are you—is this about—”

“You? No.” Sybil sighed in relief, not wanting to break her friend’s heart. However, this only made her more confused. “Please don’t take that as an insult, Sybil. You are very important to me and whoever ends up fancying you will be the luckiest man.”

“I don’t know whether to be insulted or flattered,” she spoke, feigning hurt, but both their lips upturned into grins simultaneously. But Sybil still wanted to know what, or rather, who, was plaguing her friend’s thoughts. “But Edward, who are you—”

Her sentence was interrupted by the creak of the great, wood hospital door and the sheepish laugh of Sergeant Thomas Barrow. “Forgot my book,” he admitted, walking over to the table beside Edward to retrieve it. “I have to read it, or else we’ll have nothing to talk about tomorrow.” He grabbed Edward’s hand and squeezed it, for the second time that night. It was simply something they had to do before leaving each other's company. As if to say “I’m leaving, but I’ll be back soon.”

“Goodnight, Thomas,” Edward spoke in a strange tone. Thomas, however, did not notice and gave Edward and Sybil a smile before turning away. Sybil returned the smile, watching him closely as he walked away. Just before exiting, when he must have thought Sybil couldn’t see him, he turned back, and in that one glance, Sybil saw the answer to her question. She saw pain and worry and heartbreak. But above all, she saw love. 

Once Thomas had gone, Sybil took Edward’s hands in hers. “Edward, she began, her voice full of both sadness and joy, a tone that let him know she now knew, for better or for worse. He braced himself for whatever would come next.

“My advice to you is to let those you love know exactly how much you love them.” She paused and continued in a quieter, yet somehow stronger voice. “How much you love him.”


End file.
